my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
