dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I don't deserve a penis
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
