TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
