OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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