She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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