Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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