; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
