somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
