i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
