idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
There's always time for handjobs
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
