He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
