he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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