Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
