Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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