isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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