Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
