I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
