I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Found your dick twin last night
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
