he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
