"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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