i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
