I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
