Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
