I think im going to throw up on grandma
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
