you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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