Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
