so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
