Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I understand Curling. That high.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
