and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
