ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
