Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
