I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
