Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
