I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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