...so i touched it.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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