i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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