i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i wish my penis had a tongue
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
