So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
