at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
