Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
