I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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