so let's talk penis.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
