I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
