i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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