Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
