i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
