I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
