Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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