Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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