How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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