white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
